Well let me tell you, I met him...and he was THE WORST. I mean Jhene' Aiko worst.
I know you're probably thinking how in the heck could that be?! To be honest, I am too...but I'm going to attempt to make a long story very short...here we go:
So I met this guy a couple months back. The thing that attracted me to him most was his approach. I tend to honor the men who know how to come correct to a sista, after all that in itself is hard to come by. He told me that he admired me and thought that I was "perfect" AND that if he EVER got the opportunity to get to know me, he would seize it. I was immediately intrigued. He had ya girl feeling like a million bucks and some change! He was good looking as well, so I appropriately responded with the best game I could think of and my number so he knew it was real...oh and an emoji *wink*
He called me, we chatted. The conversation had that Mississippi flow. I was feeling him! I wasn't head over heels or anything, but it was enough to determine that I could go forward with conversing with him.
One day as I was headed to work, I got a call from there saying that I had a package. I was like "A PACKAGE?! WHAT KIND?!" I'm so paranoid I'm thinking maybe its a bounty hunter there to collect my debts I owe to the hospital back at school or somebody just playing entirely too much.
To my surprise, I had a vase full of red roses awaiting me when I got to work. Now, my associates didn't know, because I was too cool to show it...but y'all....I LITERALLY felt like a room without a roof. (Shout out to Pharrell because those were my sentiments exactly). Believe it or not, I don't get romanced often so this was new to me! The note read: "I hear that the happiest girls are the prettiest." So. Freaking. Sweet. And of course, it was from "him".
Keep in mind that we hadn't even gone out on our first date so he was winning on a grand scale before we even became face to face. Now a small part of me was a little leery of him sending flowers so soon...because it had the potential to not be genuine, but I allowed it to be the sweet gesture that it was. HOWEVER, I should have put all my money on that small part of me. The woman's intuition is fool proof...but let me carry on...
Soon after that, we went out on our first date. We had a great time. He was poised in person and looked me in my eyes as he spoke. His conversation was consistent with those that we had over the phone, so I was pleased. He made me laugh (that's vital), so all was well. In fact, it was at that moment I decided that I liked him! I may not have got it all back like Stella, but I definitely got a portion of my groove back that night.
After that we talked every. single. day. Ya girl was getting good morning texts AND good evening texts! I was living on a high....but would you believe me if I told you that was the last time I ever saw him? The FIRST and LAST. Here's how my sweet turned sour:
We were supposed to go out again a couple weeks later. It was on a Saturday, I'll never forget. The plan was for us to meet up and go out on the town. Honey, I was excited! I had my hair, my fit, and face snatched and ready to roll. So I called him around the time we scheduled to link up and don't you know this man never answered the phone. EVER! From Saturday, through Sunday, all the way to Monday morning! I didn't hear from him. I had officially been stood the hell up.
When I talked to him on Monday this is what he said "had happened": "Alondra I'm sorry, I got pulled over and they took me in. They put me in a holding cell because I didn't have my license on me and they said I fit the description of a man they were looking for. I had no way to contact you."
Now everything in me...mind, body, and soul...all agreed that this was BULL SH*T. But I got counseling from a friend who suggested that I give him a second chance. So I said, fine...I'll give him a second chance. Maybe they did Rodney King him but spared the beating. But to be honest, I was actually worried about him during his absence, I prayed for him and everything so it was good to have him back.
I SHOULD HAVE MAYWEATHERED HIS A**
He asked if he could take me out again. This time I was apprehensive to agree to go, but he assured me that he wouldn't let me down, so I said fine. We were SUPPOSED to go out on a Friday...I'll never forget.
The Thursday night before, he mentioned the date that was forthcoming and told me that we would go out to eat and have drinks. I was glad he brought it up because I refused to! I was not going to ask this man if he was still going to take me out. See, the way my pride is set up....
Anyway let's jump to Friday, and stick with me because I'm going to give you a play by play of how it all went down.
At 7:30 a.m. he sent me a DICK PIC and the catption read "I woke up like this"
At 7:40 a.m. I responded "Well...good morning, I wasn't ready" (Y'ALL KNOW I HATE DICK PICS)
At 2:45 p.m. I texted him and said "I'm ready to see you this evening" because despite of his unwanted peen pic, I still was looking forward to the date
At 6:45 p.m. he texted me and said "You're not going to see me tonight."
*INSERT RECORD SCRATCHING SOUND*
I could not believe my eyes! I couldn't text him back fast enough. I swear I pulled a muscle in my right thumb the way I was working those keys! Needless to say, I gave him a piece of my mind in the most articulate way possible...ask me if he responded, ever??
HE DID NOT. He posted a picture on Instagram that evening though, straight flexed on me.
And just like that I was dissed for the first time in my life.
Now, I have to admit...I was extremely curious to know why that happened. I mean, we seemed to hit it off. I was really trying to determine whether or not I did something wrong. It totally messed with my psyche. I was belting out "How Come You Don't Call Me" in the shower everyday. On my Adele and Jazmine Sullivan tip for real!
But of course, the story doesn't stop there.
It was 3 weeks later when he popped out of the blue and called me...it went a little something like this:
"Alondra I want to explain myself. You see, I just got out of a relationship 4 months ago (I didn't know this) and I was beginning to think that I was putting myself in a rebound situation with you so I decided I wasn't going to take you out....but I miss talking to you..."
REALLY DUDE?
Now I was already over the whole situation well before he called. But I just had to pick up to hear that ridiculous excuse. You know women always need closure...even if it's already beneath us.
Anyway, I told you all this story to remind you to be extremely careful when dating and to keep your eyes open. Men will use things like flowers and sweet messages solely to pull the wool over them.
In the case of the flowers he sent, that was the "seal the deal" gift. Something like an advancement check. He probably sends those to multiple women just to ensure that she's going to like him before he goes forward. Men know that women are suckers for gifts, so for him it seemed like a no-brainer. "Imma hit her with these flowers, I know I got ha a** now"
Now of course he couldn't hide behind that sweet facade forever. That's where that dick pic came in. Poor horny thing couldn't even help himself. He wanted me to want his peen just as bad as he wanted some cake! But me being me, I politely played it to the left and WHAT DO YA KNOW....he played me right along side his wee wee. It was obvious that he just wanted to have a little fun since he had just broken up with his girl, which is fine. But men, they sometimes choose the wrong one. And I, was in fact, THE WRONG ONE.
Now I'm not going to categorize all men, but there are some who will jump leaps and bounds for a few minutes of bootay. Beware of them. Not every gift is meant to make you smile and not every good morning text is meant to make your day. Take it slow. Think it through.
~A.C.